I just couldn't do it!

I know i recently wrote a post saying i was returning to work 4 mornings a week, (which you can read here) but since putting the wheels in motion i just couldn't do it! I don't feel either of us are ready for nursery and financially we would have been paying more than id be bringing home! So after many sleepless nights and a bit of a break down my husband and i had a big heart to heart and both decided the best thing for our family is for me to stay home and raise our son. I will look to get a part time job to fit around his hours but for now i'm dipping in to my savings a little each month.

Unfortunately we don't have any family to help out with childcare as my family live 250 miles away and my husbands family all work. I think this has also contributed to me feeling so upset about leaving Reuben. It has literally always been just him and me with no help from anyone else. (And i'm not complaining about that at all as it was our choice to have Reuben). I think iv'e only left him maybe a handful of times and its only been for a couple of hours as he wont take a bottle.

I don't have anything against nursery at all and we will definitely be sending Reuben when he's slightly older but it just isn't right for him now. I actually feel like he will progress better at home with me as he'll be happy, feel safe and secure and confident to try new things. When Reuben gets upset no one at all can calm him down except me. He is also going through a 2nd spell of separation anxiety right now which wouldn't help.

Obviously i will be taking Reuben to groups to help him socialise and i will be looking to set up different activities for him to aid his learning and development and keep him entertained. (after all this is all that happens at nursery). And i have absolutely no doubt in my mind that he will grow up to be a strong independent little boy just as my brothers and i all thrived in the same environment.

Society is tough on mums but at the end of the day you've got to do whats right for you and your family and this will be different for everyone.