1 month post partum

Wow I can't believe how fast that month went! The days just roll into one even more so when you cant go anywhere or see anyone. It's crazy how fast time just ticks away. I wanted to do a little round up of how we've been getting on, how I'm feeling and how my body is doing at this point. I like posts like this because it helps you to see there is no such thing as one size fits all.

Adapting to two

On the whole I've found the transition from 1-2 a lot easier than 0-1. Simply because baby number 1 is such a shock to the system. No matter how much you read into it nothing can prepare you for the constant feeding, crying and sleep deprivation. With number 2 you know what to expect and more importantly you know it doesn't last forever. The main challenge of adding a sibling is splitting your time between everyone's needs and unfortunately you come bottom of the list for a while. Some days it's hard just to shower. I have only ever breastfed so can only speak from that point of view but babies need to feed a lot, anywhere from 1-3 hours and that can be hard for a toddler to understand. When the baby will be put down you need to spend quality time with your toddler so they don't feel left out but in reality you may be dying for a nap. It's difficult to get the balance right and your days will be busy but mentally and physically I've felt so much better this time around.

Feeding

Jasper has been gaining weight amazingly and only lost 3%. By day 5 he was just above his birth weight and by 4 weeks he had gone from the 33rd percentile to the 50th. That doesn't mean to say breastfeeding has been plain sailing. It hasn't at all. I did suffer sore cracked nipples in the first week or so and I had to really work on his latch/finding the right position. I also have a vasospasm on my right side which can be really painful at times. (This is a narrowing of blood vessels in the nipple). I remember having it with Reuben too and it did eventually settle down so that's getting me through. I feed in the cross cradle position on my left side and rugby hold on my right as that's what's most comfortable/easy. At a month old though Jasper can still be rather lazy in the night and take a few attempts to latch on so I always keep the lanolin close by. On the whole I love breastfeeding and I wanted to do it more than ever at this time with the current pandemic. I feel grateful I've been able to and feel like I'm giving him the best protection I can right now.

Recovery

Jasper was born very quickly and I had a shallow 2nd degree tear. This healed really well and hardly caused me much pain at all. The contrast to my recovery from Reuben is huge. I'm pretty sure I was still taking pain relief at this point following an episiotomy. I've been able to go out for lengthy walks and I've been doing my pelvic floor exercises every day during night feeds (also helps me stay awake). If you follow me on Instagram you will have heard me talk about diastis recti previously and I currently have about a 3 finger gap between my abdominal muscles. I'm trying hard to fit in deep breathing that activates the transverse muscles and pelvic tilts to help bring them back together but im currently not doing this as much as i would like. Until this is healed I cant do any intense exercise.

Body positivity

Well this is rather lacking at the moment. And I think that's pretty normal. We don't all just snap back. For some of us it takes time and it can be hard looking in the mirror and seeing a reflection you don't recognise. Before we conceived Jasper I was a size 6 and weighed less than 8 stone.

Now I have a saggy belly that over hangs and I'm carrying extra weight around my hips, bum and thighs along with huge boobs. I'm trying to not let it get to me and been on lockdown has helped a little as I have no where to go and no one to see. Deep down I know in time I'll get to a point of feeling confident in my own skin again and the biggest battle is healing my diastis. That will make a huge difference. The saggy skin will never go but I wont have a gap and big overhang. Below are pictures of how my belly has gone down following birth. I've lost just over a stone and still have just under a stone to go. I haven't done anything to aid this and have been eating way to many biscuits.