Becoming a mum

Some people feel like they loose themselves when they become a parent, for me i feel like I've found myself. Things that once mattered now don't, my life has purpose and meaning and everything has truly been put into perspective.

Don't get me wrong being a parent is bloody hard work, the hardest thing I've ever done in fact! Its tiring, both physically and mentally, it also tests your patience and reserve, its a 24/7 job that you can't switch off from. BUT it's also the most rewarding thing i have ever done...my child is my greatest achievement and for him i'd give my last breath.

For the first 4 months my entire life revolved around Reuben. I would spend hours sat in our dimly lit bedroom feeding and settling him for the night and would then stay in bed myself despite it only been 8 pm. i Didn't watch any evening t.v and having a shower was practically my only escape. He would wake up often and i was constantly tired but you somehow always manage to get by. He would also only nap for 30 minutes at a time so that's when i would get washed, dressed and eat. luckily i was happy to let the housework slide and only do the essentials and then my hubby would help out on an evening/weekend.

around 5 months i did a bit of gentle sleep training and spent a week really working on his naps which helped significantly. He also became a very efficient feeder meaning his longest feed was never more that 15 minutes. i felt like we fell into a bit of a routine and managed to make it out the house daily. We started having our evenings downstairs and time to switch off/wind down which was very much needed.

Now i look at him when he's having his bedtime feed and is all peaceful and think, god i love you so much. Yes i look forward to having my body back and not having to feed him/ go everywhere together, but its also such a short phase in their lives i'm trying to enjoy it all while i can. There are days that are tough but there are days when he's a joy to be around and those moments make everything worthwhile.

The love you have for your child is like nothing else and i would happily make them sacrifices a million times over. You can still be you and mum, you just might need to put you aside for a short while.

But time really does go so fast when you have a child!